So, this is the End..


Now, time to give the last hit to this blog. I decided to end and stop using this blog..maybe I'll never do blogging anymore.

It was about a year I have done this stuff...I started making this blog last year when I "clashed" with my, it could not be called as clash or breakup..ahh whatever...
That time, my unbiological sister assisted me to make this blog. 
This blog started with ke-awesome-an but then, time after became pathetic...or in other words, I became more pathethic...This is sad to see blog full of motivation turned into a grief blog. 
The real thing is, I'm kind of tired. Tired with all..Yeah, tired with this life..I don't know..I've endured too long.
And I always thought hardwork can beat talent..but, I'm kind of realize.... that's not true. The past me,and the future me..I'm so sorry guys..

This life is full of shit.. I've endured everything...alone...and i think i cannot do that anymore.
Everything is phucking damn. Fail....Dead..! 

My study dead. Why people set the thing? I'm tired with all of these. And tired with those who called me genius. And made fun when my study dead. And called me a liar just because I didn't become a genius like what they've expected. The truth is, I'm only a stupid guy who always work hard and keep believing my hardwork can change everything. Change my life, my family's future...I tried as hard as I can, even people teased me, made fun with every works that i've done. Do you know what the feeling when a real genius make fun with my hardwork.? But I've endured it and acted tough. They cannot understand since they can score everything without put any struggle. What the hell with this world? 
But Now,they all make no sense..and I only used to believe on that. On hardwork.
Worst part is...I stop believe on everything..on people...on lover....on hardwork....on luck..on miracle..on God.
And my family...i don't know how to say it. I cannot handle this family issues..That was too much pressures on me. Especially when I'm at home. 

And people...why everyone is a liar? A parasite who only come with problems and sucking all the positives. When their negative was neutralized, they just simply left me.. Why? Somehow, i thought to do that crazy thing...I've tried it so hard..but my whole body trembled at the moment when that knife pointed toward my wrist..I wanted it, but my body could not do it. Yeah, death is too hassle..I just hope I can simply disappear. 
Somehow I solute people who can give the end to their life with this way. I cannot..But I'm suicidal...Yeah, again.. Death is too hassle, I just hope I can simply disappear. Disappear. Yes, it's not like anyone care. 

Yeah, you can say I've turned into sad....pathetic....psycho creature. I dn't give a shit anymore.

Oh...okay..this is just too long. Alright, byee byee

Pray for my death, okay?

The End.

About that?

First of all, about previous entry [[[[]]]]
I've read a book about psychology. Meanwhile, there are something interesting. It is a test. Yes, the test for anybody who read that entry. No more and less, to see the feedback or responses before you decide ur "own decision"
to do that crazy stuff.

So, this is the result. I will summary it according to percentage. *From total pageviews of that previous entry.

Type 1: Looking down & Ignorant.

Respond: Ignore that statement.
Alright, this first type, ignored my entry even after read i've done a suicide attempt. Yeahhh...80% of people who read my entry just ignore it and did nothing like they really see nothing. Ahaaa this is pathetic, right? The book tell: -This kind of people looking down to you. When you tell them, they just say "you are so pathethic, but i never knw that you are really this useless."(Looking down) or "you live or die, not my business."(Ignorant)- Haha almost my blog visitors are this kind of people TT_TT sobss

Type 2: Feel bad for you.

Respond: Cheer you up but do not bother with what u've told/pretend do not know about ur statement.
This type of people are hard to be identified since they do not pop up about what u've told like they are ignoring it. But somehow you can detect their suddenly changes. They seem more cheerfl toward u and try to make you happy more than usual.-This people actually feel bad for you and want to help you but they cannot do more. They think ur problem need to be solve by urself but they still want to give some support. Mentally.- Yeahhh 15% out of the total of you are in this type. :') Thanks for those people who cheer me up especially in twitter.. I just want to cry..Thanks again for your kindness :') Glad having friends like u all!

Type 3: Expect too much from you

Respond: Scold & Give advice/their own opinion.
5% from total are in this type.. -They will scold or give a long advice about how wrong you are. Like you should not do it, since a lot of thing you can do in this life. This people are actually expecting too much from you. They do not bother with what's u feel. And they think u just cannot do that because that is wrong.- Frm my opinion, i think this people are caring but....yeahh obviously they do not understand me. They are rather talking about what's wrong, what's right...and use religion excuse to make it. So, when they are bla...bla...bla.....i just can give a smile. Fake? Yeah, how can i mad at them.? They just cannot understand me at all. Yet i don't want to deny my own religion.

Type 4: Caring about you.

Respond: Asking whether you are okay or not. Yet do not bother to say that you're wrong.
-This type is most hard to find. It seem like impossible. You are lucky if u find it. They do not ignore your statement, they do not pretend they ignore your statement and they do not bother to tell you what's the wrong and what's the right in this world. They just simply ask u...."Are u ok/alright?" "Anything i can help?" This is not because they are kind. They are just understand ur pain and care about it.- From the total, the percentage of this type is 0%.. Ahahaaa this is like impossible for me to have someone this caring to me. but, if i find this kind of people, i wll really glad. And if it is a girl, i will take back my word "Will Never Marry  & Live Alone" and marry that girl!! Ahahaha *kill me now//kicked ..But....hehhhhh it's impossible after all, rite ? TT_TT well, i think i still ok to live by this way..Im foreveralone, after all~

*the  orange words are words from the book i've read.But not totally same since i cannot remember 100% every words in each sentences.