tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-69999588169472449592024-03-14T14:11:24.899+08:00LAYAR EPILOG Biarlah sini jadi pentasku berkisahSeorang Akuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17802067344868438940noreply@blogger.comBlogger41125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6999958816947244959.post-59531453916569708882018-02-10T11:56:00.001+08:002018-02-10T11:59:19.660+08:00Dua LimaSelamat Hari Tua orang tua.<br />
<br />
Sebab semakin hari, semakin senja diri ini. Dan semakin jelas cerita Tuhan pada diri ini.<br />
Sedar tak sedar, sedikit demi sedikit rangkap & melodi yang digila2kan satu ketika dulu mulai masuk akal.<br />
<br />
Terima kasih Tuhan utk rezeki dibangunkan semula setiap pagi. Sungguh Tuhan itu, baiknya keterlaluan sehingga aku sendiri malu bila terus menerus diberi peluang & anugerah utk terus bernafas.<br />
<br />
Untuk kisah penceritaan yang masih belum bernoktah dan assignment2 hidup yg masih belum disiapkan ini...semoga orang tua ini terus kuat membanting tulang empat kerat dan mampu memerah segala isi otaknya. Dua lima ini belajar utk jadi lebih memahami, lebih matang dan lebih terbuka.<br />
<br />
Al-fatihah pada masa yang dulu.<br />
<div>
<br /></div>
Seorang Akuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17802067344868438940noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6999958816947244959.post-21160544386184939812018-02-10T01:46:00.002+08:002018-02-10T01:47:28.843+08:00Wise manRecently I figured out<br />
<div>
That wise man is not wise at all.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Who've said "Saving someone mean you save yourself"..?</div>
<div>
There's no such thing.</div>
<div>
It is "Save yourself so you can save someone".</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Who've said "Everybody is going to hurt you. You just need to find the one who worth suffering for." ..?</div>
<div>
There's no such thing.</div>
<div>
It is "Nobody worth for the suffering and your hurt even your ownself".<br />
<br /></div>
Seorang Akuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17802067344868438940noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6999958816947244959.post-49285587246943186832017-10-21T11:18:00.001+08:002018-08-31T20:09:40.744+08:00Nyawa ke-sembilan<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Untuk kalian yang turut dalam kelam,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">ini buat kalian.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Hati yang di dalam nya derita</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Di selembungi sepi dan gelita</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">perlahan-lahan tenggelam dalam kegelapan</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">dan tiada lagi gemerlapan </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Hati yang dibiarkan mati tanpa ada simpati</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Jasad yang separuh lumpuh tanpa tanda sembuh</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Hanya mampu memerhati dgn mata hati</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">lubang sendiri, digali sendiri.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Jiwa kosong dari nawaitu</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Namun sarat dengan kutu-kutu</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Masih tercari-cari Yang Maha Satu</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Namun dibiarkan menduga-duga </span><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">yang mana satu</span><br />
<div>
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Siapa yang sudi mendengar kalian?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Cuba memahami tulisan kalian?</span><br />
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Mungkin puisi sakti dari bisikan hati,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">satu-satunya nafas yang kalian punya.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Mungkin nukilan utk kali ke-sembilan,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">nyawa terakhir yang kalian punya.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Untuk kalian yang turut dalam kelam,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Damai lah dalam lena yang diam</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Mayat yang dibiar kesepian</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Ini buat kalian</span><br />
<br />
<br />Seorang Akuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17802067344868438940noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6999958816947244959.post-78097016332385826692017-09-27T23:50:00.000+08:002017-09-28T00:32:05.416+08:00Sound track Di Kampus Induk Itu<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
During my degree study, my friends try to make a song from my poem 'Di Kampus Induk Itu'. The song was not really recorded properly but somehow I feel like to share it. So, let watch this :)</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Full Poem: <a href="http://hadimdk.blogspot.my/2016/01/di-kampus-induk-itu.html" target="_blank">Di Kampus Induk Itu</a>.</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
Di Kampus Induk Itu - Pra </div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
[Video on youtube : <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tMtyECNhsm0" target="_blank">click</a>]</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<iframe allowfullscreen="" class="YOUTUBE-iframe-video" data-thumbnail-src="https://i.ytimg.com/vi/tMtyECNhsm0/0.jpg" frameborder="0" height="266" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/tMtyECNhsm0?feature=player_embedded" width="320"></iframe></div>
<br />
<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
Di Kampus Induk Itu - Pasca<br />
[Video on youtube : <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kuMxKWJdL9U" target="_blank">click</a>]</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<iframe allowfullscreen="" class="YOUTUBE-iframe-video" data-thumbnail-src="https://i.ytimg.com/vi/kuMxKWJdL9U/0.jpg" frameborder="0" height="266" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/kuMxKWJdL9U?feature=player_embedded" width="320"></iframe></div>
<br />
<br />
This poem was written about my best friend in university that I met in the hall during the early days of my degree study. Thank you for being my friend and helping me. ^__^<br />
I will write more about it later.<br />
<br />
Thank you for listening~ :)<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />Seorang Akuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17802067344868438940noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6999958816947244959.post-67065873778043499562017-09-14T20:52:00.000+08:002017-09-30T08:09:00.076+08:00A song to myself<div class="mxm-lyrics__content " data-reactid="119" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #2c3e50; line-height: 1.7; padding-top: 0px; white-space: pre-wrap; word-break: break-word;">
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><b>Kembali - Bunkface</b></span></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">Aku yang bersalah
Aku memang gila
Tapi pada Yang Esa</span></i></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">Ku berserah
Kau sama sahaja
Seperti mereka
Hanya gilakan nama
Tiada lagi cinta
Peluklah rasalah
Melodi ku di udara
Untukmu
Biarlah ku melepaskan dia pergi
Selamanya nanti dia kembali
Dia kembali padaku
Dengarlah kataku
Aku bukan begitu
Walau aku berdosa
Aku masih percaya
Ku akan doakan
Kau temui jalan
Ku harap kita jumpa
Satu hari di sana
Peluklah rasalah
Melodi ku di udara
Untukmu
Untukmu
Biarlah ku melepaskan dia pergi
Selamanya nanti dia kembali
Dia kembali padaku
Selagi aku berpijak
Atas bumi yang gila ini
Akan ku sampaikan
Ada hidup selepas kau mati
Biarlah ku melepaskan dia pergi
Selamanya nanti dia kembali
Dia kembali padaku
Biarlah ku melepaskan dia pergi
Selamanya nanti dia kembali
Dia kembali padaku
Kembali...
Kembali...
Kembali...</span></i></div>
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Seorang Akuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17802067344868438940noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6999958816947244959.post-12113731247861391642017-09-03T17:26:00.001+08:002017-09-03T17:26:30.797+08:00Yang lebih perit<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Kerana apa yang lebih perit,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">adalah melihat jasad sendiri dibiar mati perlahan-lahan,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">tanpa simpati.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Aku jatuh dalam sepasang kain hitam</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">merintih pada tuhan minta dikesian,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Lumpuh, dalam kalimah tuhan yang cuba-cuba menenangkan.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Rabbi yassir wala tu'assir, rabbi tammim bil khayr.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">-cahaya-</span>Seorang Akuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17802067344868438940noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6999958816947244959.post-87970656843005703332017-03-21T20:20:00.000+08:002017-03-21T20:20:21.110+08:00Bekal<div data-p-id="e3043d6f2bb5e3c3852ab415b624dbae" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 24px; margin-bottom: 24px; padding: 0px;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Dulu dulu masa kecil<br style="box-sizing: border-box;" />Paling gembira<br style="box-sizing: border-box;" />Waktu rehat<br style="box-sizing: border-box;" />Bila buka beg skolah<br style="box-sizing: border-box;" />Ada bekal dri ibu<br style="box-sizing: border-box;" />Ibu takpernh lupa</span></div>
<div data-p-id="a53ae244fea7afd60f46a633d29b115b" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 24px; margin-bottom: 24px; padding: 0px;">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Bila di menara gading<br style="box-sizing: border-box;" />Semua sendiri<br style="box-sizing: border-box;" />Tapi tadi<br style="box-sizing: border-box;" />Bila periksa semula<br style="box-sizing: border-box;" />Ada satu bekal dlm beg<br style="box-sizing: border-box;" />Berisi doa ibu</span></div>
Seorang Akuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17802067344868438940noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6999958816947244959.post-8192123967493483042017-03-19T12:02:00.001+08:002017-03-19T12:02:53.839+08:00Belajar<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Pokok cempedak sudah pn berbuah</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Tapi buahnya itu tumbuh di bawah</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Mengapa dijolok dengan galah?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Bukankah alat itu jelas salah?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Orang lain minta ditunjuk diajar</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Kau bodoh sombong taknak belajar</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Mereka seluruh dunia dh pn berlegar</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Kau masih terperangkap dalam pagar</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><br /></span>Seorang Akuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17802067344868438940noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6999958816947244959.post-48740413979216792892017-03-05T00:03:00.000+08:002017-03-19T12:04:39.243+08:00Gugur<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Kenapa pautkan sayang dan kasih</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Pada sebatang pokok?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Bukankah lebih sakit hati</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Bila esok kemarau</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Dia gugurkan segala rasa itu ?</span><br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />Seorang Akuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17802067344868438940noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6999958816947244959.post-56507970883492712392017-02-24T12:32:00.001+08:002018-05-05T23:21:10.456+08:00Cinta si dia dan Dia<div>
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Dulu hati dua ini selalu bersama menari</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Asyiknya mencipta kenangan dan memori</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Pernah aku sangka kau bidadari</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Dan cinta kau itu yg aku cari cari</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Tapi cinta kau itu hanya mawar berduri</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Yang kau tinggalkan utk harga diri</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Demi cinta Ilahi yang kau baru sedari</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Kau cuba ajar aku berdiri sendiri</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Tapi aku pilih untuk menyendiri</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Dan aku salahkan Dia yang Maha Pemberi</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Hingga aku lupakan asal diri</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Terus aku biarkan kaki tangan aku tergari</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Dan aku potong bukan satu tapi lima jari </span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Tanpa lima itu semakin hitamlah hari hari</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Hingga aku sedar yang aku tak mampu lagi berlari</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Bangun jatuh bangun jatuh hingga tak mampu berdiri</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Dalam gelap pada diri aku bertanya sendiri</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Mampukah lagi aku hidu haruman kasturi?</span></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
Seorang Akuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17802067344868438940noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6999958816947244959.post-49768393703741809022017-02-17T22:04:00.000+08:002017-02-17T22:59:27.421+08:00Buku itu<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Lebih suku buku itu kau cuba tulis sendiri</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">dengan pena tukang bicara sebagai ganti diri</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Akhirnya kau tinggalkannya menjadi pegun dan beku</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">dengan pena yang dibiarkan tidak terusik kaku</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;"><i>namun </i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;"><i>dalam bilik hujung ini buku itu kau ketemu juga akhirnya</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;"><i><br /></i></span>
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;"><i>namun </i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;"><i>kau tahu buku begini tak pernah ada suka di muka akhirnya</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;"><i><br /></i></span>
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;"><i>namun </i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;"><i>juga dalam kisah duka buku itu masih belum ada akhirnya</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Sebab suka duka itu kau harus tulis sendiri</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">peganglah kuat pena itu sambil terus berdiri</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Selagi nyawa kau tak keluar dari hujung kuku</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">teruslah menulis kisah kau bersama dengan aku</span><br />
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<br />Seorang Akuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17802067344868438940noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6999958816947244959.post-43913887482276687232017-02-15T14:20:00.000+08:002017-02-15T17:14:18.240+08:00Sang Anjing<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-1zgiFYMO-7o/WKP6psL1B1I/AAAAAAAAAqg/A7DLNb5FmzwL31FY4s-sKioem8ZZ51EMwCLcB/s1600/IMG_20170131_165542_257%255B1%255D.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="" border="0" height="184" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-1zgiFYMO-7o/WKP6psL1B1I/AAAAAAAAAqg/A7DLNb5FmzwL31FY4s-sKioem8ZZ51EMwCLcB/s320/IMG_20170131_165542_257%255B1%255D.jpg" title="pkkbu" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Aku hanya makhlok Tohan seperti kau, yang hadirnya di tepian jalan,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">yang terpapar di papan tanda</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">dan yang tersebut di dalam kitab suci Nya.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Langsung bukan dosa aku jika wujud sebagai perkara yang kau benci.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Pun begitu, carilah erti mengapa aku ada di tepi2 jalan yang kau lalui,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">papan tanda yang kau tatap</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">dan kitab suci yang kau baca.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Benarkah aku diciptakan sebagai satu identiti yg patot kau keji?</span><br />
<br />Seorang Akuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17802067344868438940noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6999958816947244959.post-43731343216079908962017-01-07T01:27:00.001+08:002017-01-27T14:44:36.441+08:002017<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-_vaRIGtMikY/WG_TWBCPL1I/AAAAAAAAAjw/TNczDaWraccV9ejsBzl2NxXrVY9Cb8_hwCLcB/s1600/insta.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="297" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-_vaRIGtMikY/WG_TWBCPL1I/AAAAAAAAAjw/TNczDaWraccV9ejsBzl2NxXrVY9Cb8_hwCLcB/s320/insta.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;"><br />Beribu-ribu subjek dalam 2016</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;"><br />Yang dah dihadap dan dikunyah<br />Banyak juga yang dah ditelan tapi belum hadam<br />Dan silabus2 kehidupan yang masih belum khatam sepenuhnya<br />Banyak juga hal2 kehidupan yang semakin jelas depan mata</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;"><br />Pun begitu, alhamdulillah, kita berjaya</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Terima kasih untuk masa dan tenaga, </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">untuk gelak dan air mata, <br />untuk pengalaman dan cabaran, <br />untuk sudikan aku menjadi sebahagian keluarga<br /><br />Semoga 2017, berjaya memanusiakan seorang Aku</span><br />
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Seorang Akuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17802067344868438940noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6999958816947244959.post-17349147170626292192016-09-18T17:52:00.002+08:002017-01-27T14:45:35.283+08:00Reason<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">My friend told me</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">do it for yourself</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">forget what's behind</span><br />
<i><br /></i><i>-but she didn't know</i><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Each time i walk</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">like a sudden flash</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">you come again</span><br />
<i><br /></i><i>-since you haven't known</i><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">You're just a spark</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">but it's enough</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">to keep me going</span><br />
<i><br /></i><i>-cause I always knew</i><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">When it's dark out</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">no one around</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">you keeps glowing</span><br />
<br />Seorang Akuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17802067344868438940noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6999958816947244959.post-62701114032047162612016-06-25T16:26:00.000+08:002017-06-29T11:09:46.155+08:00LIFE IS A JOURNEY<span class="_5yl5"><br />No matter how well I try to pick up every pieces of my ownself for these past three years, i feel there's still not enough to build the me again. Family expection, faith, friends, love & life itself, all of them were broken. <br />Since i was a kid, i decided to help my family. To change our life. I didnt want to see them work too hard anymore. To wake up at mid night, preaparing food & kuih2 to be sold at the morning and evening. I want them to have a break & an enough sleep just like other people. I dnt want them to worry about money anymore. I even gave up my dream to be a cartoonist and chose another passion toward science things since it has more promising future. Since then i worked really hard. More than anyone. I kept myself from causing trouble to my family. I was motivated by a lot of stories abt successful people who came from poor family. I thought i want to be like them too. So i gave all my efforts and pray to God. And i thought all of them going well. But reality hit me really hard. All things that i tried to build were broken..three years ago. I did my best but still fail in my study.and it lead to everything.<br />I gave my parent an expectation but then i failed it miserably. I cannot face them and put myself in room alone but they just act natural & didnt even talk abt my study just to comfort this failure guy.<br />I wonder where did i do wrong. Where did all my prayers go? Why other people who do sins able to lead a happy life? Why everything i hold was taken? I asked what the point im being a good person since kid.. then it's okay if stop devoting myself? Is it really okay? i even questining everything to the point i hate myself more and more. I was totally lost in everything. <br />And during that kind of time, i need someone who saw all my efforts to really be on my side . But then that person finally gone. And im stupidly just let her go. I thought who want a loser like me anywy. <br />I keep all myself. And i thought where were all my other friends during those time. Though the truth was im too afraid and I didnt knw how to spell all my trouble to them at all. I kept it alone, and kept it until i reached a breaking point.<br />I thought my very own life itself already end. At that time, i cannot move forward anymore. A great amount of money, efforts & times already used but i still failed. So is it okay to just end it..? Is it okay just to die? What abt my family then..? <br />At that very time, i found a letter hiding in my dad's locker. It's a RM45 000 debt letter i have with ---- bcause i fail my study halfway and it asked us to pay it at once just as the contract said before. And i cried very hard that time. Nobody told me that letter already came. My dad kept it from me so i wont feel guilty or terrible. I dnt knw how long i cried alone in my room that time. I tought i hve been acting tough in front of them to make them not worry but actually they are the one who act tough in front of me to make me not worry. <br />And promised myself to do something abt that. Eventhough all applications to try continue my study in local universities have been turned down and i only got chance to continue in ipts which i knw i cannot afford for it.... so i tried to apply directly with the authorities of local universities. I've been insulted and laughed when i told about my previous study things. But it's okay.. people love to see other's failure. And the only university that give a good respond was uitm. <br />At that time, i was still in pieces. Still lost my own self. But i just keep going. Some people said, keep walking on even though u give up. That exactly what i am 3 years ago. I dont hve any confident in my future and life anymore but somehow i need to move forward. First because continue my study can stop the debt collecting thing a while and second because i want to prove to that person. When i failed my study, she went abroad to continue her study. I knw i already move on when i let her go but my ego as a man say i need to become at least the best student in my new university so i can take another stair's step to be on her level.<br />So, after all, im not someone that other people have thought. Something like - i really want be engineer or be in an elite class. I dont look up to take that kind of future anymore because i was already not my ownself. I promised myself not to get involve with anything. Just do my own stuff and dont expect anybody. I wont put any efforts on study anymore since i realised that a good result wont be any help in the future and "if i work harder, the harder i will regret it when i fail."<br />I wont make any friend anymore because "i will feel bad if there's nobody with we if im in trouble".So it is better to be alone from the start.<br />I wont fall in love again since "there's no point on it".<br />I wont devote myself anymore since "all my past prayers hvent been answered".<br />I become someone who was very negative but i know that i still need to move forward. <br />And it's been 3 years since then. And everything didn't go as i planned. <img alt="" class="_1ift _2560 img" src="https://www.facebook.com/images/emoji.php/v5/zfb/1/16/263a.png" /></span><br />
<span class="_5yl5">Eventhough i said i wont put effort on my study anymore.., when i thought abt my ego to prove my pride as a man to that person, and everytime i call my mother... i start to put all my efforts and try to be the best here. Without i realise it, i start to aim for my own goal. For my future. And i realise that - it's not that i work hard and failed in study make regret it. It's that i did not work hard enough that i failed. So this time i say to my self, work harder so u wont regret it even if u fail again.<br />Eventhough i said i wont fall in love with anyone anymore but then i cannot help myself from fall it very hard for someone. I just saw that person in the hall and doesnt even knw anything abt her yet why those feeling come? Why it must be her? Why these kind of feeling exist ? That was very tricky questions from myself to myself. But it's prove that somehow i manage to put my past behind and move to the front. So i glad i can fall in love again even though it was just one sided. Well i dnt blame anyone. Of course it's just one side, what's to expect?<br />And i also promised myself to keep myself alone and stop being friend because im afraid it will be a pretending friend. At first whenever i get close with someone during mds, im not sure what im doing..but then i met him. All that moment still fresh in my mind. There's someone im looking for in the hall because he share name with mine in class list and surprisely he was below my seat or can be said below my ass. At that time, i was just like "i want to be friend with him". I really said that to my ownself. I dnt wnt to trust people but somehow i want to trust him. And everything started there. Without i realised it, i opened my heart again to people. It maybe his personalities that make me open to others around him.. so im glad i have make decision to trust him. And i start to knw others and fall in love for every of them.. not in a gay way... somehow i manage to get rid out of my stand alone complexity. i realised these people are the one who wont abandon their friends. These past 3 years with them are the best moment for me, and to think we only have 1 year left, make me sad.<br />During these past years, i thought if i dnt devote myself, i still can be happy.. but then it's not. It is just make me feel so much sins. It's not that i dont realised it, i just stupid. Who am i to asking the God's plan? And i saw clearly now that His plans are much more better than mine. If i havent fail before, i wont meet these wonderful people around me right now. Maybe people cnnt see it but i tried my best to clear my heart again. <br />Then..these 3 years was not for nothing. slowly my ownself is being build again. The one that help me pick up every pieces of my past self to this point are these people around me. <br />I knw these kind of thinking is just my complexity and i dnt expect people to understand it. It's enough for my ownself to understand it and take it like that. <br /><br />Those broken pieces, are being picked up one by one and i knw it's still not enough and hve a long way for me to have them all fixed. But i'll try my best. After all, life is a journey <img alt="" class="_1ift _2560 img" src="https://www.facebook.com/images/emoji.php/v5/z6c/1/16/1f4aa.png" /><img alt="" class="_1ift _2560 img" src="https://www.facebook.com/images/emoji.php/v5/z6c/1/16/1f4aa.png" /><img alt="" class="_1ift _2560 img" src="https://www.facebook.com/images/emoji.php/v5/z6c/1/16/1f4aa.png" /></span><br />
<br />Seorang Akuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17802067344868438940noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6999958816947244959.post-71050742976946456822016-01-30T06:30:00.000+08:002017-01-27T14:46:01.881+08:00Di kampus induk itu<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Cerita pahitku</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Mengheret ku ke lembah pengasingan ,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Gelincir hatiku</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Tersesat ku di negri pelarian ,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Melayang dadaku</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Terhempas ku di tanjung pengakhiran ,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Topeng senyumku</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Penafian ku di tiap pertemuan .</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Kerna ,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Hidupku, bukanlah lagi sinar sang mentari</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Hatiku, tak siapa sedar sudah pun malam</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Jariku, bukanlah lagi jari yang menari</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Jiwaku, tak siapa sedar sudah pun padam .</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Namun,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Di kampus induk itu ,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Di dewan padat itu ,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Di baris tepi itu ,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Di hujung tangga itu ,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Ditanggal topeng itu.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Teguran salammu</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Terpautku di jaring persahabatan ,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Sinaran bulanmu</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Terdongak ku ke langit kenyataan ,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Tanpa sadarmu</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Memikul ku ke teluk permulaan ,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Wajah senyihmu</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Penafsiran ku di tiap pertemuan .</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Kerna ,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Hidupku, bukanlah lagi bayang sang mentari</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Hatiku, tak pernah pun sedar bebintang malam</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Jantungku, menjadi degup jantung yang berlari</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Jiwaku, yang akhirnya sedar indahnya malam</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Di kampus induk ini ,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Di dewan padat ini ,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Di baris tepi ini ,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Di hujung tangga ini ,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Dicabut topeng ini.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;"><br /></span>
Seorang Akuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17802067344868438940noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6999958816947244959.post-48437416577493947062016-01-27T11:30:00.000+08:002017-01-27T14:46:26.187+08:00Flashing Light<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">There is beautiful moon</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">There are pretty stars</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">But I chose the wrong location</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Now my eyes only getting hurt</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">by flashing light of street lamps</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Aahh I should move now</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">There is beautiful girl</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">There are pretty words</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">But I chose the wrong relation</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Now my heart only getting hurt</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">by flashing back all those times</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Aahh I should move on</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;"><br /></span>
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Seorang Akuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17802067344868438940noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6999958816947244959.post-2172670321100441402016-01-18T05:58:00.000+08:002017-01-24T22:00:17.227+08:00Hyouka - I scream (2014)<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">"It's alright" "I'm fine"</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">The words come out so lightly,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">I wonder, when will you be honest?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Being honest hurts?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">All your own feelings were abandoned.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">"I don't need anyone, I can still be happy"</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">"I don't need anyone, I am tough"</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">You still cry., far and beyond.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Of course you want to shout,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">"Understand me" "Help me" "Find me"</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">I wonder why your voice had never</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">harmonized in anyone's ears.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">As you lie the meaning of your unspoken words,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">You never have guts to face me</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Remembering me is a horrible thing , you said.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">I wonder, when will you face me again?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Right, you're afraid to see me,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Once ago,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">You used to be like me,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Screaming , crying , shouting ,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Even still,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">It did not reach anyone's ears,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">It never stop at anyone's eyes.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">That's right,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">That's the reason why I was abandoned here,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">I wonder when will you stop lying,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">I wonder when will you face me again,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">I wonder when can we stop believing that :</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"> "<i>No one ever understand me</i>"</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><br /></span>
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<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-ncq6ZhoP9l0/VpwM2-ElTKI/AAAAAAAAAio/37c9pTJjNZg/s1600/1391731_550046301742436_579316903_nh.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-ncq6ZhoP9l0/VpwM2-ElTKI/AAAAAAAAAio/37c9pTJjNZg/s320/1391731_550046301742436_579316903_nh.jpg" width="318" /></span></a></div>
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<br />Seorang Akuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17802067344868438940noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6999958816947244959.post-5971054417990385652016-01-10T17:08:00.000+08:002017-01-27T14:53:27.990+08:00Furious Rain <span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Dark Cloud...</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">You stood still ,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Because you cannot step forward</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">A Furious Rain ,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Without mercy challenging you with their shooting bullets</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Disappointed...</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">You cry again ,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">As the water in clogged drain start to flow</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">You're wondering ,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Would these feeling goes away as these tears flow away</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Afraid...</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">You can't move ,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Because you know what fall is like</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">A Fallen Warrior ,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Once was down after being shot by thousand of arrows</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">But hey, everybody afraid of their unseen future</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">But hey, because of that, the more reasons to look forward</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Umbrella...</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Hold it firm ,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Surely won't stop the furious rain</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">But with it ,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">You can face forward in rainy day without being wet</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Confident...</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Wear it out ,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">Surely won't bring you the success</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">But with it ,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">You will have strength to face any challenges fired on you</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;"><br /></span>
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Seorang Akuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17802067344868438940noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6999958816947244959.post-67500460728017656602015-12-19T11:35:00.000+08:002017-01-24T21:59:00.423+08:00Darkroom<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">You cling to yourself in that room, hug your knee to your chest.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Waiting for someone to save you from that dark room.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">An empty room that exist nothing but you and the darkness.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">You wait. And hope.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Yet blaming everyone.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Do you know why that door would never be opened?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"> Cause you lock the door by your own hands.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"> With keylock hides under your own hands.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"> When they knock it on to reach your hands,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"> You just block your ears with both your hands.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Yet blaming everyone.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">That door that separates light and darkness, only can be opened from inside.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">You must change yourself, only then your fate can be changed.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><br /></span>
<br />
<br />Seorang Akuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17802067344868438940noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6999958816947244959.post-8562825532446731592015-11-11T22:17:00.000+08:002017-01-24T22:21:41.177+08:00More<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">I want us to be more than this</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">but you think it's more than enough</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">As you say nothing about this</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">because your feeling is not enough</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">And the time is not enough</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace;">It's never enough</span><br />
<br />Seorang Akuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17802067344868438940noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6999958816947244959.post-41366072473242485452015-08-02T19:35:00.001+08:002017-01-24T21:55:37.419+08:00Butterfly<h2>
</h2>
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<span style="color: blue;">I'll become a happy butterfly</span><br />
<span style="color: blue;">and ride the winds that take me up high</span><br />
<span style="color: blue;">I'll be there soon,</span><br />
<span style="color: blue;">by your side, you're all i need</span><br />
<span style="color: blue;">It's better to forget the memories,</span><br />
<span style="color: blue;">where all that exists is the sadness</span><br />
<span style="color: blue;">There's no more time to be fooling around with our lives</span><br />
<span style="color: blue;"><span style="color: yellow;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: yellow;">I wanna know, wow wow wow wow</span></span><br />
<span style="color: blue;">Why would i doubt all hope for tomorrow</span><br />
<span style="color: blue;">Don't even know, wow wow wow wow</span><br />
<span style="color: blue;">What to do with life,</span><br />
<span style="color: blue;">what scenario could be?</span><br />
<span style="color: blue;"><span style="color: yellow;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: yellow;">After the dream without any end</span></span><br />
<span style="color: blue;">in this world without nothing in it</span><br />
<span style="color: blue;">It seems like all our dreams</span><br />
<span style="color: blue;">will lose all of its light and crumble into nothing </span><br />
<span style="color: blue;">Even with this wavering wings</span><br />
<span style="color: blue;">Full of images that tend to stay </span><br />
<span style="color: blue;">I'm sure that we can both fly</span><br />
<span style="color: blue;">On my love</span><br />
<span style="color: blue;"><br style="background-color: white; font-family: Roboto, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;" />I'll become a Cheerful butterfly</span><br />
<span style="color: blue;">and ride the winds with earnest feelings</span><br />
<span style="color: blue;">I'll come to see you</span><br />
<span style="color: blue;">wherever, wherever you might be</span><br />
<span style="color: blue;">words that are suprisingly handy, </span><br />
<span style="color: blue;">ambiguously convenient</span><br />
<span style="color: blue;">I'll shout it out,</span><br />
<span style="color: blue;">while i'm listening to this hit song</span><br />
<span style="color: blue;"><span style="color: yellow;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: yellow;">It seems like </span></span><br />
<span style="color: blue;">there's something echoing inside of the town</span><br />
<span style="color: blue;">But it's a wow wow wow wow</span><br />
<span style="color: blue;">there is no use in waiting</span><br />
<span style="color: blue;">need to move with my own feet</span><br />
<span style="color: blue;"><span style="color: yellow;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: yellow;">After the dream without any end</span></span><br />
<span style="color: blue;">in this world where misery exists</span><br />
<span style="color: blue;">That's right</span><br />
<span style="color: blue;">maybe it's believing in this feeling without any reason</span><br />
<span style="color: blue;">Even with this stumbling wings</span><br />
<span style="color: blue;">Full of images that tend to stay</span><br />
<span style="color: blue;">I'm sure that we can both fly</span><br />
<span style="color: blue;">On my love</span><br />
<span style="color: blue;"><span style="color: yellow;"><br /></span>
</span><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><span style="color: blue;">(c) Kouji Wada </span> <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wf1IgYF3geM" target="_blank">https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wf1IgYF3geM</a></span><br />
<br />
<br />
Selamat Hari Raya Aidil Fitri..sorry if it's kind of late.<br />
<br />
Well, to be honest,<br />
i'm not really in good condition.<br />
especially because it's eid time..<br />
I try my best to keep holding myself...<br />
by doing stuff..<br />
pretend everything's fine<br />
Not to think much<br />
<br />
but sometime,<br />
I was eaten by the past .<br />
<br />
hopeless<br />
failure<br />
loser<br />
suicidal<br />
psycho<br />
<br />
Keep fighting..<br />
Well, at least this time<br />
I haven't ....... yet..<br />
And trying my best to be positive<br />
This song kind of holding myself back together<br />
so that's the reason why this song is here<br />
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br style="background-color: white;" /></span>
Seorang Akuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17802067344868438940noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6999958816947244959.post-22082845064742748502015-04-06T19:08:00.005+08:002017-01-24T21:53:45.152+08:00Love obsession <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
When I was younger,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I used to hear,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>Love yourself</i>.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
And think,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="color: red;">who doesn't?</span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
But now, 10 years later</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I sit and think,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="color: red;">who does?</span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Sorry for everything. I was a failure.. Broken heart and broken dream. But I'll try my best to love myself again. Even if I fail in my study again. even if I fail in love again.</div>
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Seorang Akuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17802067344868438940noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6999958816947244959.post-81437703406886645522015-03-20T06:59:00.001+08:002015-03-20T06:59:35.371+08:00Silent ReaderHave been reading people's blogs too much for these past few weeks.<br />
<div>
And when I hooked with someone's blog, I always end up want to read their older posts.</div>
<div>
But after that, I will hate myself. For being such a stalker.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
I don't really sure myself.. my intention is good I think. I want to know about the blogger's hidden feeling or thought or personality or whatever it is. </div>
<div>
Because I know that blog is where people write what they think freely. So the true color of them can be seen there. There always something that never be told in their real life but exist there.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
I want to know. I'm curious. But I won't judge. I like people the way they are. I just want to know someone more deeply. Personally.<br />
<br />
still.. i hate myself for every of my actions..</div>
<div>
<br />
Oh, and also.. i actually have said it, I'm kind of hate this blog's layout.. i miss the old layout. well, I've read to much blogs recently.. and come to think why I've changed the layout 2 years ago???<br />
<br />
And i hate this early semester's sickness. Just hope it will go away soon. Because I know it only will end up hurting myself again. Come on heart!</div>
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Seorang Akuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17802067344868438940noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6999958816947244959.post-78715527722501372222015-02-02T01:45:00.000+08:002015-02-10T04:13:04.292+08:00Time is flyingJust read my old fb's messages. Life is really mysterious and cannot be predicted. I feel like I want to laugh, cry, facepalm and kick myself when I was reading all those messages. I meant the messages from various people. I read them all. the messages since I was innocent, pious, then being everybody's expectation, and fail in my study, heart broken, being a loser, a suicidal, otaku, weaboo, and then the current me. I found that life is a mysterious thing. I've been thinking.. I've wasted my time too much on unnecessary things. on people who don't deserve. Can I be the me that I used to be? The one that innocent, put my religion above anything, being everybody's expectation again? I'm not sure myself. It's seem it would never happened again, But still,<br />
<br />
<div>
I hope I can fly, like a bird. Because time is flying, as well, so fast. So I want to catch up with it.. And if I was given a choice, I would like to be a phoenix, so I can be reborn again.</div>
Seorang Akuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17802067344868438940noreply@blogger.com0