Silent Reader

Have been reading people's blogs too much for these past few weeks.

And when I hooked with someone's blog, I always end up want to read their older posts.

But after that, I will hate myself. For being such a stalker.

I don't really sure myself.. my intention is good I think. I want to know about the blogger's hidden feeling or thought or personality or whatever it is. 

Because I know that blog is where people write what they think freely. So the true color of them can be seen there. There always something that never be told in their real life but exist there.

I want to know. I'm curious. But I won't judge. I like people the way they are. I just want to know someone more deeply. Personally.

still.. i hate myself for every of my actions..

Oh, and also.. i actually have said it, I'm kind of hate this blog's layout.. i miss the old layout. well, I've read to much blogs recently.. and come to think why I've changed the layout 2 years ago???

And i hate this early semester's sickness. Just hope it will go away soon. Because I know it only will end up hurting myself again. Come on heart!

Time is flying

Just read my old fb's messages. Life is really mysterious and cannot be predicted. I feel like I want to laugh, cry, facepalm and kick myself when I was reading all those messages. I meant the messages from various people. I read them all. the messages since I was innocent, pious, then being everybody's expectation, and fail in my study, heart broken, being a loser, a suicidal, otaku, weaboo, and then the current me. I found that life is a mysterious thing. I've been thinking.. I've wasted my time too much on unnecessary things. on people who don't deserve. Can I be the me that I used to be? The one that innocent, put my religion above anything, being everybody's expectation again? I'm not sure myself. It's seem it would never happened again, But still,

I hope I can fly, like a bird. Because time is flying, as well, so fast. So I want to catch up with it.. And if I was given a choice, I would like to be a phoenix, so I can be reborn again.